Falling Anthem

she said that if I was a character of the L world, I would be Carmen

k: why is it, that makes u want me?
i: well, u are a big challenge..
k: but why?
i: well, u are much older, right? so u’ve done everything already. Everything we do, everywhere we go, everything we talk .. you’ve already done it before with someone else. You’ve had more years, more days, more people, more experiences in life than i have.. the challenge is to make you enjoy it even more than previous times. make it count, make it a thousand times better..
k: …
i: either that or make it worst, so that u remembered it because of how bad it was (i smile)
k: (big laugh) oh men, i’m so in love with u

6 hours of intense morning sex and forget about real life.

she is my drug

today i’m not just a zombi walking but a complete disaster.

my leg muscles hurt of sex. if I’m like this with 21, i don’t know whats gonna happen when i get older.

headache. due to a mix of alcohol and no sleep.

and

i’m taking an aderall with red bull. perfect combination

K periodically becomes gripped with an idea and feels that the time to act on this idea is NOW. i prefers to fully digest the whole idea and responds to situations with a more practical and cautious attitude. If K stumbles or fails, then i may react with an “I told you so” attitude. This can be infuriating to K and very detrimental to the relationship. If you can appreciate your different approaches,i  can help supply the reliability and consistent dedication needed to help bring K ’s ideas and impulses to a fruitful completion. Both of you should try to adapt to each other’s style in daily events: for example, i may resist a sudden impulse of K to go somewhere, when joining in the fun would be much more satisfying for both of you.

For the most part you get along very harmoniously. You are both idealistic and you prefer to see the good and noble and beautiful in life and in people (even when that means ignoring the plain facts about a person!). You are both open and tolerant, and you enjoy mixing with others, going out, and socializing.

There are differences between you, though. i is quite candid, often to the point of being blunt, though in a good-natured manner, while K is generally very diplomatic and gracious. i has strong convictions and beliefs and expresses them very openly, whileK may not take a strong stance to avoid offending someone. K is more personable and more aware of other people’s responses, while i is cheerfully oblivious to others’ responses and feelings at times. i is sometimes boisterous and outrageous, while K ’s behavior is always in good taste.

Also, K needs companionship and a lot of affection, and may feel insecure without a close partner. i is more independent and sometimes enjoys going off on a solitary adventure.

Both of you think in long-range, broad, philosophical terms, and you seek to see the whole picture rather than just the immediate. A shared interest in religion, Universal Law, metaphysics and the search for Truth is apt to be an important undertone in your relationship. Long-distance travel and communications, publishing, and/or teaching are also areas of common interest.

The fantasy is over and i almost cry five minutes ago when I was leaving her house. Nothing bad but a lot has happened. 

Since I’ve known her, almost 9th months ago, everything has been great. Our relationship has progressively gotten better and better. What started just in sex, its become one of the deepest most passionately intense relationship I’ve ever had with anyone in my entire life. Now, we are a couple. She is my girlfriend. 

Comming back to New York yesterday from Malibu ment facing reality. This days where a great disconection from the world, but real life is here. And it sucks. 

I was late to school this morning. Woke up two hours later than what I was supposed to and just because She was patient enough to woke me up. With my eyes still closed She was saying I better go to school late than not going. I covered her mouth with my hand.

Seconds later, as I was getting dressed I realised how rood that was. I went back in bed with her and just looked at her. Stare at her in her sleep like i used to do at the beginning, when I started sleeping over at her place and was impossible to fall asleep.

We just came back from Malibu (California) after spending an amazing long weekend together. 

Cruising the Pacific Coast Hallway in a white convertible mustang; walking empty beaches holding hands; smoking sisha in the dark looking at the stars with the sound of the waves on the background; driving up the mountain to Canyon Lake 3000 for the Hollywood sign; getting a skateboard in Santa Monica; driving around Beverly Hills and googleling who might live there; watching the sunset at Venice Beach; played tennis barefoot; delicious lunches and dinners at the Reel Inn;  waking up to coffee, lay down over her legs in the sofa while Sinatra is playing and she reads the newspaper; long deep conversations; intense sex all over the place, kisses that stop time, looks that say more than words, hours and hours of pure fun …

If not the best, one of the best days I’ve ever spend with anyone. 

18. April. 2012

For her birthday I wrote “Good morning beautiful” with lipstick on her mirror; got her a pair of Converse; a hot grey/black shirt; and a chocolate Magnolia cake with white frosting and a huge red K in the middle. And happy birthday candles all around. 

But she was the one who surprised me with this:

Her words said this was a gift for her, that she’s been wanting to do for a while because although we are together now, in case it doesn’t work out, we will still be part of each others life’s (she’s never been friends with any of her ex’s before) .

Like She had said before: I’m stuck with her for the rest of our life’s. 

I wear it every day on my left hand middle finger. The more i look at it, the more I’m in love with it.

A year and a half ago i went out alone to a lesbian bar, on the West Village.

That night i met a girl: 30something, beautiful, stylish, very femenine, works at Zara, engaged…

We spend the entire night talking. She got me a drink, i got her a drink. I had an enormous atracttion to her. Was dying to kiss her. We smiled. Nothing happened.

I was 20. Barely no experience with woman and wasnt confident enough to do anything. But, before leaving (3-4 a.m) i kissed her lips goodbye and never saw her again.

Today, i saw her. At Zara. Looked even more beautiful than that night. I walked around her, looked at her, stare at her… When i was leaving she looked at me and smiled.

Did she remember me??

Today i’ve said it. Those three words.

I went over to her place by surprise. Open her door (it is never locked), walked to her room where she was working. She jumped to me with a huge smile, we started kissining, she pushed me against the wall and we end in bed.

In bed making out passionately, intensively, fast, heart wanting to jump out of my chest… i stoped, looked at her and said:

I Love You…

i woke up to her beautiful voice today saying

“i really like you”

My smile was huge. I open my eyes, loot at her, wink, close my eyes again and smile even more, trying to seem i as sleeping.

She laughed. Got closer to me and said:

“i’m really in love with you”

should I meet her family?